Some Kind Of Beautiful |
Brosnan plays Richard Haig, a dashing fiftysomething professor of Romantic literature at Cambridge whose practices one of those dippy Hollywood movie versions of literary analysis where every word out of his mouth sums up his philosophy of life and gives us insight into his mental state. His serial cherry-picking of gorgeous young female students is interrupted when he finally gets one of them, a visiting American named Kate (Jessica Alba), pregnant. Richard's father (Malcolm McDowell), also a womanizer, shows up to be allegedly-shockingly foulmouthed-adorable; upon his grandson's birth, he christens him "a little turd."
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Matthew Newman's script could be written off as merely sexist if it didn't make the men seem like petty, stupid people, too. Tom Vaughan's direction is serviceable at best, inept at worst, and there are a few scenes that don't play right because the camera is objectively in the wrong place. Watch the scene where Richard and his now toddler-aged son eat in a restaurant and the boy looks out the window and sees mama with her new boyfriend from a point-of-view on the other side of the table: there's no way the kid could see from that angle unless he has eyes on three-foot extendable stalks. It's difficult to feel sorry for such good-looking, impeccably dressed lead actors, but this film makes it possible. There isn't a line or moment where you don't feel their strain from trying to make something out of nothing.
Complications ensue even if you'd rather they didn't. Olivia's gynecologist husband leaves her, a new romance brews, Richard can't really get it started because he's having such trouble with immigration, Pierce Brosnan realizes he's been coasting on his looks in too many recent films and makes a vow to never do that sort of thing again and wins an Oscar before his 65th birthday for playing a supporting role of real substance, oh sorry, that was my fantasy, but now my fingers have seized up in rebellion against using any more precious glucose molecules to write this review when it's such a nice day out. See you at the park, maybe.
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